I don't like the new Weight Watchers program. I gained 2 points but I feel like EVERYTHING went up in point values so I am afraid to eat anything!!! I have to weigh in again tomorrow and I pray for no gain. I have the monthlys so I am sure I am gonna be up. I am so slacking on exercise. It is hard to keep motivated when I see no loss and my body feels like I have been beaten with a bag of rocks.
Work drama is smoothing out. After the holiday schedule, I will be placed on a normal 8-4 shift ( i hope! I was told I would be!). That will get me back in a normal family friendly schedule. I am looking forward to that. Hell I am looking forward to the holiday schedule!! I need a mini vaca!!! I have been given a little more time to get qualified at work so that has relieved alot of my worries. I still have to push for it and give alot of my own time but there is no longer a ridiculous deadline over me.
Home is good. Kid #1 had a birthday. She is 10 now! I am worried. Everyday I see her Innocent childhood slipping away. I feel like I missed out on so much by being as distant and busy as I have been. At times, I feel like I don't know how to be a Mom so I push away from them. I have recently learned that they don't know when you are clueless. But I still feel bad over the wasted time. I feel like I am too hard on her. Like I am always screaming at her. I think I forget that just because she is so frickin smart doesn't mean she isn't a kid.
I am feeling a bit depressed. I think it's the weather. Maybe the holiday blues. Maybe my schedule...I'm not sure what it is but I gotta shake it. I am taking B6 and Magnesium. maybe I need more D. I might hit up a tanning bed. Maybe that will help me. How silly a black chick tanning but hey I love the sun and the winter has got me blah!
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